I’ve Got Gazelle Intensity

I’m fired up! Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University gets better and better each week. My husband and I have a working budget. It covers all the bases, keeps our spending in check, and will eventually allow us to live the way that we want to live without being slave to our debts.

Tonight we covered lesson 4, Dumping Debt. I think I’ve cried a bit before about how the credit card companies and the loan companies and the banks seem like they control our lives. But, like Dave says, it doesn’t have to be that way. Dayman and I are in the process of Baby Step 2 in the program. We’re on our way to becoming debt free. Using Dave’s Debt Snowball program, we pay off the smallest debt first, regardless of interest rates. Once that debt is paid off, the amount you would have spent monthly on that first debt is applied to the next debt. And so on.

We have stopped borrowing. As of two minutes ago, we’ve cut up EVERY SINGLE CREDIT CARD! We’re running from the cheetah, and we’re going to get away!!!!! I think I will probably talk more about the Dave Ramsey course in the future. I really believe that the principles set forth in this financial plan will completely change our lives. For the first time, we will control our money instead of letting it control us.

If you feel like you are drowning, and there is no hope, take comfort from Proverbs 6:1-5 (TNIV):

My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor, if you have shaken hands in pledge for a stranger, you have been trapped by what you said, ensnared by the words of your mouth.

So do this, my son, to free yourself, since you have fallen into your neighbors’ hands: Go — to the point of exhaustion — and give your neighbor no rest! Allow no sleep to your eyes, no slumber to your eyelids.

Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler.

Amen.

Peace, linden.

Staggered

Sometimes the Depression sneaks up on you.

It’s a creepy, vicious stalker. It sidles behind you at the computer desk and begins to massage cold, invisible, skeletal fingers along your temples. You rub and knead to deflect the discomfort. A nerve in your shoulder jumps and scurries to avoid the attack. You shrug it off, as yet unknowing.

Your brain begins to misfire, dragging you away from your work. You stare vacuously at the screen. Coming to, moments later, you begin your work anew. Fingertips enjoy the tactile pleasure of striking individual keys. The smart, satisfying click of each button is an encouragement to keep typing. You rub the shiny squares lightly as you process your thoughts. You chance a glance to the right, where a hefty and volatile to-do list urgently beckons. It begs you to make just one check-mark in its neatly printed boxes.

You panic. Breathing heavily, you glance about without focusing on any specific point or object in the desk nook. Your thoughts race, wander, imagine, deflect an oncoming fear. Short, sturdy fingernails find a home piercing the fleshy bits of your palms. The pain allows you to focus and regain your composure. You improve your posture, tap the keys quickly and with purpose. As you sit tall and high, you glance over your right shoulder as if to confirm that nothing lurks behind you.

But the beast’s claws are still able to clamp, vise-like around your throat. You swallow against the building pressure, working your throat muscles around the new, mysterious mass that has taken up an esophageal residence. Your stomach tenses, and your lip trembles as the realization dawns: the Depression has arrived.

Its weight settles about your shoulders and drags you to the cool tile floor. It’s comforting to have the ground hold you up as the tears fall.

With These Hands…

The Playtex Create-Your-Own Cup

My husband and I are taking a financial course at church — Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. It’s a great course, and we’ve learned a lot in the three weeks we’ve been going. (Check out this link.) This past week, we discussed budgeting and getting our affairs in order. (Mental note: we need to update our wills!) And though learning about real budgeting and finding ways to stick to our financial plan are important, the class really has me thinking about money in a different way.

Money, or lack thereof, completely controls my life. This course is teaching me to take control of my money. To make it work for me. But the deep underlying, unanswered question remains: What do I want it to do for me? Where do I want to be in five years? In ten? In thirty?

So, in all these months of blogging and deep reflection, I’m still at the same place I was in July. What do I want to do with my life?

I’m beginning to get a glimmer. Working at a desk job, while easy and profitable, was boring and completely unsatisfying. The monogramming/embroidery business I’m currently working with is fun. It can be time-consuming, and isn’t the type of business that generates a full-time salary (yet.) But making a beautiful hand-crafted item for a complete stranger can be comforting. I like envisioning what people will do when they receive their personalized gift. From hand-towels to sippy cups, diaper covers to coffee mugs, I like the concept that others will use the items I make. They will hold them in their hands, wash them when they’re dirty. The items will become a part of their lives.

From my hands to yours. From my creative energy to a completed product. I like it. To see the hand-crafted products I help produce, visit: http://stores.ebay.com/Aw-Fiddlesticks.

Peace, linden

Facebook

I was tugged into Facebook kicking and screaming. Literally. My best friend forced me to sit at my computer, create a profile, add a picture (ugh) and do weird things with walls, flair, bumper stickers and status updates. Then came the endless friend requests of people I had no interest in befriending. It led to the ultimate question, again, of who are your real friends. I decided to let most people in. After all, my life is pretty boring. If they want to hear about the latest poopy diaper, how I lost my crappy job, how my sister’s in jail, why my family still rocks, how big the kids are getting, how I love my husband more than ever before, how there are no jobs in Jacksonville, how I got a freelancing job writing ecards but lost it because I was running my sister’s monogramming business during Christmas… oh wait. I don’t put that stuff on Facebook. I keep it light. I like it light. This is the place for the heavier stuff. The deeper thinking. Or the latest midnight life crisis.

Argh. I buried the lead. The lead was supposed to say that Facebook rocks. Push aside all the cheesy gimmicky stuff, the time-wasting stuff like flair corkboards, and silent e-stalking. Look instead at the amazing ability to use this huge network to find people who (for whatever reason) drifted away, unnoticed, as you lived your life. And suddenly, one day, it occurs to you to check to see if your college roommate is on. She is! She’s… in Australia? How would you have ever found her otherwise? And then other possibilities arise — could that dear friend from Germany possibly be there… she is! And she missed you, too. What about those other friends who really weren’t that far away… but… but…

And somehow, through all the stupid status updates and the people you don’t really care about blabbering on about how their lives rock or suck or whatever… you realize that there is something to this social networking thing. It’s brought me closer to some very dear friends. And it afforded me hours and hours of useless entertainment at my crappy, boring job. Which I no longer have. And that’s okay, too.

So here’s a shout out for Facebook. Thank you to all the computer geeks who figured out where my friends were.

~~Peace~~ linden

Social Networking for Shy People

I’m confused. And tired. And confused. I had a plan. It looked something like:

• Gather clips of my best advertorial writing.
• Re-write my resume
• Look up freelance writing jobs
• Apply for freelance writing jobs
• Uhhh… get a freelance writing job?
• Prove I’m a fabulous writer by wowing my employer with my motivation, energy, passion, education, ability to follow directions, and, of course, my literary wit
• Have first writing gig translate into a full-time writing career
• Quit boring day job
• Have more time with kids
• Have more time to volunteer
• Have more time for church
• Have more time for the green revolution
• Enjoy the “creative life”
• Get out of debt
• Buy a house
• Keep enjoying the “creative life” while blogging about my favorite topics (environment, personal growth, politics, baking, cooking, vegetarian and sustainable living, and random enjoyment of strange news that no one else reports on)
• Read a lot of books
• Retire
• Save the world
• Read more books

As I began to research the proper way to go about starting a freelance writing career, I found I needed:

• To have a blog (check)
• To post to that blog often (not so check)
• To post relevant, interesting, stimulating stuff in a niche (not so check)
• To create a fabulous group of people through social networking sites (miniature check)
• To Digg, Twitter, Stumbleupon, etc.

Bear with me. I started a blog. I post when the mood strikes, about whatever the mood strikes. But the, you know, 35 people who’ve seen the blog, aren’t really motivated about what I write. That’s cool. I can handle rejection.

What I can’t handle, apparently, is social networking on the Internet. I’ve admitted before that I’m not a super social butterfly. I like people. I think other people can be cool. They can be mean, funny, annoying, inspiring, irrational and, above all, interesting. But I never know what to say. I try to think of interesting topics, and my mouth freezes up. I’m completely intimidated. Seriously, it’s taken nine months of my kids being in daycare for me to get on a first name basis with all of the teachers. Nine months. I see these women five days a week. Oi. And I’m so proud that I can actually carry on a conversation with them now. Sad. I’m sad.

So, it should be easier on the Internet. Right? No.

There are so many online services out there. Why isn’t there a social networking site for people who are shy? For people who don’t know people? For people interested in joining a group? For people who want to be part of something different. Something that is easy-to-use and goes beyond the randomness of the “What are you doing now?” sites.

I believe I may have stumbled upon (ha ha… stumble… never mind) a social networking site that does just that… BlueGooseNews.com. Go check it out. Discover what a social entrepreneur is. Join a group. Change the world. Create a blog, post pics and videos… and feel like you are a central part of a bustling community that cares about its members, and rewards them, too!

Neato Tip

Did you know that when you copy a piece of paper with yellow highlighter ink on it, that the highlights don’t show up on the copy?

So if you have an original document that you don’t want to mess up, you can mark a large X across the page and write “original” in yellow highlighter. You’ll always know which page is the original, and you won’t be able to see it in the copies.

The Irony of Recycling

I admit that I dragged my feet on ordering a recycling bin from the City of Jacksonville. We moved about four and a half months ago, and I just called the 630-CITY number to order my bin.

The irony? Recycling bins are on a 90-day backorder.

Really? Why in the world should it take three months to get one plastic bin to my house so I can recycle? Is the bin plated in gold? Does it have my name engraved on it? Are recycling bins in such demand throughout the state of Florida that there aren’t enough to go around?

And while I think it’s great that there are so many people in the city who want to recycle, it is also a shame that they are prevented from helping the environment because of the inadequacies of local government.

I believe that more people would recycle here if bins were provided automatically with trash cans. Admittedly, many recycling bins would sit, unused. But many more people would adopt the “why not” attitude if recycling was more convenient.

World Future Fund

As I scroll through the freelance writing job boards each morning, I look for opportunities to not only get a paying gig, but also to get a paying gig that matters. I want to use my words to make a difference. This week I applied for an editorial position with the World Future Fund. (No word, yet. I’ll keep you posted.) Update: I’m not the “write” candidate!

This nonprofit organization is committed to educating people “about the need for a greater commitment to investment in the future, particularly in the field of environmental policy.” What greater purpose could my writing expertise serve than this? I believe that we all need to be more concerned with the greater global future.

I also believe that it is our nature to focus on the present, and the foreseeable future. It is not in our nature to concern ourselves with problems that will arise fifty years from now. Or five hundred. Or five thousand. After all, it’s difficult to think about next month, much less the next millennium.

Eco-awareness groups need to focus on the lack of vision of the general public. It’s difficult to encourage conservation efforts when the people reading or hearing the message do not understand the consequences of each consumer choice.

I recently heard that the most important word used in persuasive writing is “because.” This word lends authority and reason to any argument. Groups who are trying to spread the word about conservation, recycling and eco-awareness need to use more, and better, persuasive writing to teach the public.

Recycling is important because our resources are limited. Purchasing local produce is important because it cuts down on pollution from transporting items and supports your local economy. Reducing our dependence upon oil and petroleum is important because oil supplies are rapidly disappearing.

Here’s my bit of persuasion for today: You should visit the World Future Fund website because it will provide you with substantial evidence that our ecological future is more doubtful now than it ever has been. You should read the reports section and check out the “World Future Outlook” because it will give you cause to wonder if we’re already too late with the “green” movement.

A Good Life-Purpose is Hard to Find

I’ve written a lot lately about how I want to channel my idealism and actually start making a difference in the world. I’ve mused on various ways I can help my community and the different stones I can use to build my path.

What I want to do now is interview some people who actually are creating positive change. Like nonprofit organization leaders, homeless shelter volunteers, environmentalists, missionaries and politicians who cut the crap, ignore the bureaucracy, and get their jobs done.

If you know anyone who fits that description, or anyone who inspires you and would be willing to email with me a little bit, would you mind sending them my way? I wouldn’t take up too much of their time, but I would really like to gather up some inspiring stories to steer me in the right direction.

capitalization for tree huggers

In high school I refrained from capitalizing my name because I wanted to emulate e.e. cummings. I admired his poetry. And, like many angst-ridden teens, I fancied myself a blossoming poet. I used cummings’ disregard for the conventions of capitalization as the main example in an English essay written to defend my “right to not capitalize.” I wish I still had the essay, because it convinced my teacher to let me use my lowercase name on all assignments.

I didn’t capitalize my name for about ten years. Then one day I got tired of fighting the automatic “mistake wizard” in Microsoft Word. So, I gave up. At the time I argued that it was a mature decision. I was breaking into the world of print journalism. The paper’s style guidelines did not include an allowance for one reporter who wanted to flaunt convention.

I now wish I had staunchly maintained that quirk. It was something I believed in, a cause (albeit a small one) that I fought for many years. I had to defend my non-capitalization countless times to teachers, instructors and professors. In the end, they all agreed to not penalize me for not following “the rules.”

Why is it that, as I get older, I don’t fight for the things that used to be important? I understand that my priorities have changed. In high school and college, I had only myself to consider. Now, I have two children and a husband in my care. Does that necessarily have to change the causes I champion? Does that mean that I can’t take time to buck the system just a little? Perhaps not. I follow a number of issues, and I have many strong opinions about politics and the environment. I think that now is a great time for me to carve out some time to devote to educating others about my beliefs!

If you’re interested, visit this link to learn more about the peak oil crisis. It’s time that we learn how to stop our dependence on foreign oil. It’s also time for us to really start looking for alternate energy sources before it’s too late!

Can’t hug me? Go hug a tree!

lwh